Being Legendary Sucks
by Tikigod784
Summary: Oneshot series...about Nagi. And his not so epic adventures. Updated when people give me ideas for the next chapter.
1. Streaker

Don't make Shinmei Ryu angry. Especially the women, but in this case, just in general. 

It'd been a fairly peaceful day. His group had decided to take a break after landing in Japan, with everyone going their seperate ways. As nice as the peace was, it made a certain Nagi quite bored. So, he'd gone looking for something to do. Simple, right? He was just looking for the first thing that caught his eye. It wasn't his fault that he'd ended up at a Hot Spring.

Now, you're probably wondering what could this possible have to do with anything? A Hot Spring, why does this matter? Preposterous, get to the fight scene! But this is the most important part!

It was an open-air hot spring. Very well furbished (quite expensive too). It was not, however, seperated into two sides. Mixed bathing, it's called. You're supposed to wear swimming trunks. Nagi paid no heed to any signs he passed. And so, he came upon this beautiful hot spring, which had only one other occupant. A beautiful woman, with black hair down to her back and big, chocolate colored eyes. Evidently a local who, conveniently enough, also forgot to read the signs. A short exchange, a playful wink, and a cute blush later, Nagi was across the pool.

Now, if you were to look at this from a third person's perspective, you'd see a suave and handsome young English man dressed in a hand towel leaned down, talking seductively to an equally clad, but terrible blushing, stammering and needless to say quite embarrassed young japanese girl.

Kanon Eishun was actually a very composed and mature individual. At 22 years old, he was respected not just as a master of Shinmei Ryu, but as a capable and trustworthy leader. Which is why so many questioned his travels with Nagi Springfield. However, coming upon this scene, he went from calm and composed, to flabbergasted and shocked, to just plain enraged.

-  
Here's the breakdown:

"Ah...uh..."

"Hm? Oh, hey Eishun! Whatcha up to?"

"Eh? Anata?" **(1)**

"Eh?"

"Y...Y..You"

"eh...um..."

"ano..."

"Umm...Eishun, yo...this...well...sigh it's _exactly_ what it looks like."

"HOW DARE YOU TOUCH KIMIKO-OJOUSAMA!!!!"

-scream that you'd expect out of a little girl-

-ZANGANKEN-

"Get back here Nagi!"

"I don't wanna die!"

-RAIMEKEN-

"Hmmm... they seem to be getting along quite well..."

"eh? Who?"

"Ah, pleased to meet your acquaintance. My name is Ku:nel Sanders." -grin-

"Hweh?"

------------------------

And so, in one night, a legend was born. True, Nagi learned his lesson about the true nature of a Shinmei Ryu, but more importantly, the legend of the Kyoto Streaker, chased by an evil banshee across the entire city, was born.

"C'mon Eishun! It was a misunderstanding!"

"You can clear your name in HELL! ZANGANKEN!"

Considering Eishun's reaction, though, Nagi still wishes, just a little, that he'd managed to score with "Kimiko-Ojousama".

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So, what do ya think, peeps? Personally, I think this is my best work to day (sob). Yeah, let's hope i don't abandon this one too :P

Till next time. Oh, and PLEASE review with ideas. They're good for my gluttonous and overly-lazy soul. Yes. Thanx...

**(1) Anata means "darling" in japanese, right? right? oh no...  
**


	2. RatType things

I'll list the characters for simplicity's sake: Nagi, Gateau, Asuna. 

However, as my Brain isn't too good for storming at the moment, I greatly encourage ideas in Reviews. Send them to me! And I'll give you credit and whatnot.

* * *

"So..."

"So what?"

"You gonna try them?"

"What? You're the one who found them, try them yourself!"

"But..."

"But nothing. Eat it."

"But... I'm scared"

"What the hell? Then why'd you even catch the damn thing?!"

"I thought you'd be able to cook it well."

"Why you-"

-choking sound-

"GEH?!"

"Asuna?! Asuna! Hang in there!"

"Nagi..."

"What's wrong? You ok?"

"You suck..."

"AAH?!?!"

"Here, Asuna. Let me carry you to the stream over there."

-sobs can be heard- "Asuna...she...she told me...that.."

"Thousand master my ass..."

"Indeed."

"Do I suck? Really? I don't know what's real anymore!!!" -Wailing ensues-

* * *

Nagi seems to be the type that'd be easy to make cry...under normal circumstances...maybe...

THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT!!! R&R OR YOU GET NO 50 DISCOUNT!!!!


	3. Okinawan Doughnuts

Got this idea from reading xxxHolic, I also think I have Sin Ansem to credit... though I'm not sure...anyways...

* * *

"Come, come headmaster. It's not that bad. In fact, I think it's rather cute."

"Don't patronize me. It's offensive."

"But sir, it's not that big of a deal, is it? He's already mastered non-incanted spells, so it's not like he's going to be using his spell key that much..."

"No, if I know him, he'll use it all over the country just to embarrass our family name..."

"Really..."

"Dammit, why doesn't he ever take things seriously anymore?"

"Well, it might have to do with that assignment you gave him..."

"Wha? What's wrong with it? Being sent to Japan to be a teacher is actually pretty easy compared to others... especially since he's studying under Konoemon..."

"It's probably more the 30 angsty teenage girls that changed him rather than anything related to magic..."

"Dammit, when he's finished his assignment and come back, I'm going to have a serious talk with him..."

"yes, Yes...now hurry up and take your pills Headmaster." Honestly. What was wrong with 'Sata Andagi' as a spell key? The assistant didn't know japanese, but it couldn't be THAT bad, could it?

"Damn you Nagi...foolish son of mine..." mumbled the headmaster as he chased the pills with something clearly not water.

"That's not very healthy headmaster..."

"Shut it."

* * *

Sata Andagi...Fulgaratio Ablicans! lol

Review and GIVE ME SOME FRIGGIN' IDEAS YOU'D LIKE TO SEE. If this doesn't work, I'm gonna go to the Train Station and ask for ideas...if that doesn't work, I'll skulk off into the darkness, and possibly not update this fic...oh well. If that happens, I'll just make another one! woo! Honestly though, I wish people'd put up ideas in the reviews... it makes me feel like people are actually reading the story...


	4. Could've Sworn I heard a Chainsaw

Someone said they wanted one with Evangeline in it. Hope you like it Stone-man.

* * *

"Hmmmm. So he's that way, is he?" 

"My god. How disgusting."

"I can't believe someone like him could walk around in broad daylight."

"He'll burn in the deepest pits of hell, I swear."

Nagi sighed. Normally, walking through a quiet village like this was actually pretty nice. With charming locals, cute kids playing in the streets and of course the welcoming light of the pub, he couldn't imagine a nicer place to spend his days. Especially when he was travelling alone.

"Sorry buddy, no one under 21 allowed in here. We have standards, hard as it is to believe."

"Yeah, yeah..."

In fact, there was only one thing that Nagi really hated about villages.

"Maybe someone should call the police."

The "charming locals" were all so damn suspicious! Seriously! What the hell was wrong with all of them?! Was it too hard to ask that they not jump to conclusions just because of his awkward predicament?

"Muere, muere, muere, muere..."

Hmmm. Perhaps it was. Time to run.

"Agrenlo!"

As Nagi bounded across rooftops and out of the village, Evangeline only smirked as she held on tighter.

* * *

So...anyone like the RE4 reference in there at the end? What? You didn't see it? Damn. I have failed -commits Seppuku with his Wii Controller, gory Wii-based sound effects are heard.- 

Anyways, thanks a bunch to Stone-Man85 for the idea of having Evangeline around. Everyone should check out his stories, as the are much more epic than mine. Or are they? Muahahagaflagahahahahacoughyescoughhahahaha!

rEAD, rEVIEW, and GIVE Me SOME FRiGGiN IDEAS people! Thanks again...


	5. Fetish Fiasco

Yoyoyo this is TikiGod callin out to all you--BAMF-

Sorry, I suddenly had the urge to write like a hip-hop DJ...;

Anyway, after much trepidation, I've released another story! R&R! Do it! Give me ideas on what Nagi and the gang should go through. MULTIPLE ideas would be appreciated, as this is the only idea I was sent...and I'm not sure whether it'll be to people's liking or not...

So, ONWARD!

* * *

"My god." 

There they stood 2 best friends transfixed on something they had never thought possible.

"He did it. He really did it."

One a mage, and the other a tall swordsman.

"Should I kill him?" questioned the swordsman in an all too serious tone, gripping his sword in reflex.

"I'm not sure...part of me wants to strangle the life out of him, and the other part wants to congratulate him..."

The mages eyes were round as saucers, and his mouth was open. Almost as if the man was in awe.

"What?!"

"I mean, yeah! Let's kill that bastard!!" He began laughing nervously, even as his companion looked at him accusingly.

"Wow, Nagi. I never thought you were into this type of thing."

"Oh, come off it! I was just caught off guard is all!"

A man in a featureless cloak happenned to come in at this very moment.

"Hello, gentleman. What's got you so worked up this fine evening?"

The two men rounded on him almost instantly.

"What you ask? I think you damn well know, Albireo-san!"

"Seriously Al! What the hell?"

Taking a moment to remove his hood, revealing a shifty looking but probably reasonably attractive man, the stranger blinked for a second before replying.

"Aya, I thought we agreed I wanted to be called Col. Sanders?"

"Who the hell would agree to that?!"

"Don't change the subject!"

Al finally looked from them to the subject of tonight's argument. Honestly, he thought he'd made a real breakthrough as far as this sort of thing goes...

"Well, she DID change into the clothes herself..."

"That's because you switched them out when she was taking a bath, pervert!"

"Ara, you saw that?" Touching his hand to the back of his head, he scratched guiltily.

Now, Nagi had known this fellow for a decent amount of time. Sure, not long in the other man's eyes, but being 16, knowing Al for 5 years did seem like a long enough time, given his understanding of some of Al's "unhealthier" habits. Now honestly, he really wouldn't have cared if he'd dressed her up in a sailor uniform (though at her age it'd be kinda weird), and he MIGHT have let a school swimsuit fly. Hell, he would've even been willing to ignore the French Maid's outfit (complete with glasses?!) altogether. But seriously, who tried to combine all 3? Not to mention, in the first place, putting all this on a 7 year old girl wasn't appealing in the least. Seriously! It wasn't like he was a pervert or something! Yeah! Wait, just when were we narrating from Nagi's point of view specifically??

Having finished scratching, AND of course having ignored the fourth wall and read my previous narration, Al began to dig into his robes for something.

"Oy, Al. What are you doing?" Nagi, with a hint of worry in his voice said, stepping back, as whenever Al actually needed to fish something out of his robes, it ended badly.

"I'm going to remedy the situation." Said mage said as he stepped over to the little girl swinging her legs while sitting on a log. "Here Asuna, say 'aah".

After she silently replied, he popped a red pill into her mouth and stepped back. Said samurai and younger mage could do little as the little girl disappeared in a cloud of smoke, replaced by something they were barely able to register before they fell unconscious from blood loss.

--

Taking a look at his still unconscious coompanions, he turned back to Asuna, said girl having long transformed back and changed into more "practical" clothing as she put it.

"Albireo-sama..."

"Yes, what is it, princess?"

"I'm worried. I don't think it's safe for them to lose that much blood at once, especially not through the nose..."

"Ara, that's a completely natural thing for men to do when there are cute girls around. Don't let it bother you."

She seemed both unconvinced at that point, and asked what the purpose of his so called "experiment" was.

"Ohoho...the experiment isn't over yet." he replied with a glint in his eye, and even the stoic Asuna had to shudder momentarily.

* * *

Now then, Review! Kthxbye 


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